What a strange title, I’m Not Everything I Want to Be. But it’s a very common statement for women to make. They don’t live up to their full potential. They face numerous hurdles and obstacles that prevent them from becoming who they want to be entirely. That’s my initial impression going into Klára Tasovská’s documentary about Czechoslovakian photographer Libuše Jarcovjáková. The film mirrors Tasovská’s personal search to discover herself as a woman artist and how the world puts extra pressure on the artistic soul if it happens to inhabit a woman’s body.
In a very bold move, Tasovská directs her documentary entirely from photographs that Jarcovjáková took throughout her life. Using Jarcovjáková’s narration throughout, she puts the viewer in the Czechoslovakian photographer’s shoes, allowing us to be active participants in the brave woman’s quest for identity and self-actualization. It takes us on a journey of liberation from the oppressive confinements of a society under invasion, where individual dreams are crushed and talented people are wiped off the collective national memory.
Can we separate the art from the artist? Tasovská’s documentary is not concerned with answering this question. It is a portrayal of a self-reflective photographer whose entire body of work is a meta self-commentary on her life. Through her experiences, Jarcovjáková captures other people at their most vulnerable, authentic selves. In her journey across identities, continents, and jobs, she creates a tapestry of the feminine condition, both feminist and agender, torn between the neutrality of human suffering and the specificity of the female experience in a harsh world that seeks to gaslight it.
One of the key elements that breaks the silent barrier of this documentary; composed merely of photographs and nothing more is the brilliant sound work by editor Alexander Kashcheev. He works magic through creating a sound design that is worthy of an award, pulling audiences into an immersive audiovisual experience that goes beyond the stagnant documentary format. It breathes life not just into Jarcovjáková’s photographs but her memories, the places she’s worked, and the cities she’s lived. This gives weight to the film while also saving it from falling into the trap of becoming too niche a viewing experience.
It is convenient for women to search for truth in other women’s stories. Tales from braver, more accomplished, and more grounded femmes who preceded us in this serpentine insanity of existing in a male-dominated world. I’m Not Everything I Want to Be doesn’t just mirror the search and the chaos of being a woman in a world that constantly sells her short, demanding that she feels “less” about herself. Tasovská takes us on a journey where we become both the subject and the voyeur, watching a series of photos in sequence to create a stop-motion animated documentary that feels entirely new.